We've all been there: A dear friend’s birthday is coming up, but you just can’t decide what gift to buy them. After hours of trawling the aisles, you finally settle on something that is neither too cheap nor superficial, but upon unwrapping it, your friend takes one good look at your gift and frowns. Where have you gone wrong? While your intentions may have been good, gift-giving in China is a delicate matter and it is surprisingly easy to cause offense with a clumsily-chosen gift.
In order to make your life easier, and preserve the special relationships you already have, we’ve rounded up a list of five everyday items you should never give as a gift in China.
Lose the shoes
Traditional Chinese culture puts heavy emphasis on the appearance of homophones. For example, you will probably never see the number four (四 sì) on the elevator because its pronunciation is similar to the word death (死 sǐ). For the same reason, it is actually taboo to gift shoes. The pronunciation of shoe (鞋 xié) is near-homophonic with evil, demonic, or heretic (邪 xié), so giving someone shoes is considered the equivalent of wishing evil spirits and bad omens upon them. However, due to the fact that shoes are a necessity, this taboo does not apply to family members or loved ones, so feel free to go all out and get them a fancy pair of kicks.
Cram the clocks
Time is the most precious gift we have, right? Well, not always in China. Giving someone a clock can be a big mistake, as the pronunciation of clock (钟表 zhōng biǎo) is homophonic to ending, termination, or death (终 zhōng), and can be especially offensive to older people, suggesting that you are praying for their death. Furthermore, the act of gifting someone a clock (送钟 sòng zhōng) sounds like the custom of staying by a parent’s side right before their death or taking care of the funeral arrangements (送终 sòng zhōng). Thus, it is imperative that you steer away from clocks when choosing a gift, no matter how pretty they look.
On the other hand, although watches may have been a taboo gift for older generations, there are now mixed opinions on whether or not they are an appropriate gift amongst younger folks. Some say that a wristwatch represents longevity when gifted to a partner or close friend, while others claim it connotes running out of time. When in doubt, avoid watches as a gift to more traditionalist friends.
Umbrellas are unlucky
As an easily customizable product, umbrellas are a tempting choice when seeking a gift for a close friend, but be forewarned: Umbrella (伞 sǎn) is homophonic to parting or scattering (散 sǎn). You should never gift a close friend an umbrella because that can mean that the two of you will soon part ways. You are, however, exempt from the rule if you are bringing someone an umbrella in the rain. That’s just good manners.
Say humbug to hats
Unlike the previous examples, hats are taboo in traditional Chinese culture despite lacking any horrifying homophones. In China, the saying “to wear a green hat” (戴绿帽子 dài lǜ màozi) means that your spouse has cheated on you, and it’s such a powerful association that you will rarely see anyone wearing actual green hats in China. Furthermore, when a parent or elder passes away, you must wear a special kind of hat at the funeral, called a 孝帽 (xiào mào), which is translated into a filial piety hat. Therefore, it is better to abandon the idea of giving a hat as a gift completely, lest you accidentally wish for death in someone’s family, or for a scandalous affair to occur.
Wallets are not warranted
As wallets are used to contain money, by extension they represent your personal wealth in traditional Chinese culture. Therefore, gifting a wallet represents giving away all your money, and could mean that you’ll lose all your fortune and luck. However, there is an exception: it’s totally okay to gift a wallet to a spouse or other family member who already shares your financial accounts and money.
